It is a tricky balancing act…one in which, inevitably, someone is not satisfied. Someone is mad and upset. Someone is usually crying. That someone is usually me.
I read something freeing the other day: “We homeschool not to teach like a school at home but to make our children love learning, 7 days a week at all hours. We teach them control, confidence and character. Our home is a classroom filled with wonder and is always on.” (Sorry for not quoting you properly…or citing where I read it, because I honestly cannot remember)
I loved that. It freed up some of what I have been thinking about, some of the guilt, like how will my kids measure up? Measure up to who though? My own pre- conceived notions of what they should be learning and what I think they would be learning at school.
I am learning too. I have one daughter who is an extrovert with some introvert tendencies. I have another who is a total introvert with a few extrovert tendencies. Learning how to be with both of them as an extrovert (I mean, dude…I am the poster child for extrovert) has been a challenge. I am your typical Type-A personality. See something, make a plan, go after it…get it done. My daughters’ ambling and plodding drives me slightly insane.
My son is learning, unfortunately, from his sister’s that there are some things just not worth his time…or so he thinks. I am unlearning (is this a word?) this behavior and making him face up to his mistakes. He has learned to make some great excuses. Today though, after lunch he told me he was going to get back to work and not make excuses for not doing his work. He wanted to be done.
We have instituted a schedule now. My girls are up at 7am. My boy at 8. They have classes they have to take and an format to follow. I am hopeful that this will help my introvert child have more structure which I believe she needs. My extrovert child likes to watch TV. There, enough said about that issue. 🙂
I am working two part time jobs. And not because I have to…or maybe because I do but not for monetary reasons. I love them both for different reasons. One because it gets me back into the profession I love and the other because it get’s my creative juices going.
My husband and I are working more as a unit and are prayerful, watchful and eager to see where the Lord leads us. Some days it feels as if I am in a swampy land with lots of lichen and cobwebs…and other days I see us on a plateau and there’s nothing but soft, even ground to be covered. Going to the horizon. Those days are sometimes few and far between…but they make me appreciate them all the more. I am more aware, more awake than ever that what we are doing is for His Glory and not ours. It is humbling and sometimes a heavy burden…because I want to be weak. I want to be sinful and I want to let my flesh have it’s way. But I resist…I resist for the greater good. I resist because my children are watching. Oh my Word are they watching. And we are unlearning behaviors, together.
"Image courtesy of Rainbow by Robert Bell / FreeDigitalPhotos.net"